With all due respect, it sounds to me like you ARE trying to control him. You are giving him rules instead of setting boundaries for yourself. You've already told him that his behavior was a deal breaker, yet he continues to do as he pleases. Making idle threats and then not following through only tells him that you aren't serious.
Your husband is a grown man and, as you said, he will do whatever he is going to do. All you can do is control how you deal with the situation and what you will and will not live with. Have you considered attending al-anon meetings? You will gain much face to face support there and learn how to take care of your own well-being regardless of what your husband chooses to do.
Outside of checking out al-anon meetings, my only other suggestion is that you separate your finances from his. Get yourself a bank account that he cannot access. Not only will you need the money should you choose to leave, but it will keep him from spending all the money.