Hi Buffalo,
No flaming from me either. You will move on if or when you choose to. You will know when you've had enough. No-one can tell you how long that will be. My exA and I separated 16 months ago and I'm still grieving. I haven't let him go in my heart yet and I don't know how long it will take me to heal. Each day, I hope I get closer to healing and letting go. I also understand what you mean by the 'projecting' and yes, they do feel they 'need' to blame someone else and remain unaccountable for their actions. All the best to you Buffalo.