Cyranoak

...along with the guilt that goes along with her disease, but I don't know how to help you, Rhode who is just like I used to be, understand that. Rayne is 100 percent correct that just because she isn't conscious of her motivations for doing it, that doesn't mean she isn't doing it. My wife used to do the EXACT same thing.

I'm not telling you to leave her-- I didn't leave my wife--, but you are going to have to work your own recovery program to even begin to understand what is happening on her side of the fence, and probably for a long time. That said, what is happening on your side of the fence is much, much more important right now, especially because you have children.

Take care my friend. I wish you, your wife, and your children the absolute best.

Cyranoak

P.s. I also need to point out that "being good" is a term we use with children. When used to refer to our spouses or significant others, something is very, very wrong. I know when I used to use it referring to my wife, I was doing so because I didn't see her as my equal. I saw her as simply another child I had to take care of-- I regret that now. It made things worse.