It sounds like you need to put the focus on yourself and your babies and not worry about the addict. He is going to make choices and you can't control that. His mixture of alcohol and xanax is extremely dangerous, and could lead to death or arrest. You obviously care about him, but there is nothing you can do for him. He will choose for himself whether or not to do drugs. He faces the consequences of his own actions. I've been around addicts my whole live, and believe me, you can't save them. Unfortunately, the drug is the most important thing to them. It sounds like he has tried to stop a few times, but he hasn't gotten real help for his addiction. Has he been to meetings or seen a counselor? He says he wants to stop, and yet he continues. I think it is best for you to pay attention to his actions not his words. His words say he wants to stop, yet he keeps using the drugs.