SarahG, you have every
RIGHT to be frustrated, angry and resentful towards your husband. Do you still love your husband? Or are you just stuck in the relationship? Take a deep breath, relax, and get it off your chest.
I've been a member of SR since the 14th of November 2010 and you are at least the second spouse of a spending addict that has posted on SR. You wrote
"There are no meeting for spouses. (Yes, I know about Al Anon.) We have no support system (both ACOAs, no family to speak of.) All the books I've managed to find are about financial management, not management of a spending addiction. (Think Dave Ramsey versus the Big Book. They're not quite written to the same audience, kwim?)" The other lady that posted concerning her spending addict husband, also, was complaining about the lack of support for the spouses of spending addicts. Someone, like you or her, should start a support group for the spouses of spending addicts.
HINT! HINT! HINT! 
The best effort I could find by surfing the web for support groups for spouses of spending addicts was
https://www.wesabe.com/groups/9-payi...50-spouse-debt "There is support out there for spending addicts - they have meetings." I would guess you are referring to the Debtors Anonymous Recovery Program.
Debtors Anonymous - Recovery from Compulsive Debt The Program adopted the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous to deal with the disease of debting. Members of Debtors Anonymous are encouraged to keep specific records of the amount of money they make, spend, and owe to creditors. Members of the group are invited to attend meetings on a weekly basis. In addition, they are encouraged to participate in
"pressure relief meetings".
A pressure relief meeting is when a newer member meets with two more senior Debtors Anonymous members to review the new person's finances in detail. The more senior members can offer advice to the new person about his or her finances.
Please feel free to keep posting and reading SR. We're here for you!
Just my personal opinions. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix