It reminds me of what I dubbed 'buying'.
My ex(s) (and sister) would do these 'wonderful' things for me.
but it was only so I would 'license' their drunk.
If they did something 'good' for me,
in their mind
then I had no right to say (or feel) anything about their tying one on.
UltimATELY
it would wind up with them UN-doing what they'd done.
to 'show me' how ungrateful I always was.
All about the control.