Originally Posted by
catlovermi 
I think most times the "logic" of an enabler has to do with fear of abandonment within the enabler. In that system of logic, to become enmeshed in the life of another brings a (misguided) sense of security - that it is harder for the second party to abandon the enabler if the second party is "dependent" upon them. I think this "logic" is often subsconscious, not on a conscious level.
JMHO
CLMI
Yes, I believe this was me. I did so much for so long he felt entitled to it.
I mentioned this in another post. He became like a child, and add in the addiction, well, I was taking care of another child.
Dammit, I want a grown man, but I don't know if I would recognize him.
I am working on that though. I am making my dreams come true a little bit everyday and want to become MORE of me. It's in there, just been bruised a little, but I will coax it out by working very hard to recognize that fearful codie when she wants to control someone.
Sigh......
Thumper,
Get the damn book. I have it on my dining room table, I read the cover and sometimes the contents. Someday, I will do it. Its not like I dont have the time. I can make the time.
Beth