Originally Posted by
imatryinhard 
Lesson learned. Time to get outside of my head and stop be so GD self involved and neurotic individual.
Congrats on the 30day chip, ITH. Cool stuff.
Std company lines (
): 1. If you don't have one, find a sponsor as quickly as possible - someone who's worked the program, is living the program, is recovered and is happy. 2. Make sure you're reading the material and doing the best to work the steps yourself.
I learned the same lesson as you mentioned above (I learned it in a different fashion but....it was the same lesson). The problem wasn't the learning.... the problem was following through and changing based upon the new knowledge.
I wanted out of my head so bad....man....it reduced me to tears on numerous occasions. Long story short, I was as powerless over my mind and my thoughts as I was over alcohol. I truly could not manage my own mind.... That was a rough bottom to hit - and I hit it IN the program, many months sober, all the while being told I was doing great but feeling like I was dying inside.
If I didn't have some REALLY strong recovered mentors in my life at that time.......I'm almost positive I would have gone back out. Sometimes they had to push me hard - I was just too afraid to do it on my own.
Giving up the booze is a big deal.........but getting comfortable and happy in recovery is an even bigger deal. If you don't find out how to live....sober....and happy....... I'll guarantee you your time in sobriety will be short lived.
Stack the deck in your favor....get a sponsor, work the steps, and be open to seeking whatever HP is out there for you..... You'll have fun, life will be enjoyable, and you'll be able to keep collecting those chips until you get a metal one a 1 yr.
