I've found that my husbands sobriety has been just as difficult to deal with as his active addiction - just in different ways. Detachment is difficult to learn but it sure does help. The detachment gives you time and space to see what he is going to do on his own.
Have you done any recovery work on your own? (going to meetings, getting a sponsor, working the steps?) Unfortunately, addiction is a family sickness and we need to take as many steps (if not more) to begin to develop our own healthy behaviors.
Thinking of you ...