You qualify for Alanon because it (the disease) has effected you. I feel like some others that you have dodged a bullet. Right now it feels like surgery with a hacksaw. Down the road it won't. Down the road it will feel like....whew. This is my 3rd year divorced from my XAH and I am grateful for the lessons. I am not afraid anymore. I gave him to God. I couldn't live like that anymore. I was a threat to his drinking. Natural Light was his mistress. I am so much happier now. Good luck.