This was my first 'full' Xmas since I got sober - I'd done partial get togethers but never the whole few days away whole family experience.
It was pretty harrowing - not because I wanted to drink, but just the drama and fights and ever present tension - particularly once people started drinking - I'm not sure if it was always like that and I never noticed, or whether this is new...
At the Xmas dinner around the packed table my brother in law asked me why I stopped drinking...the table went quiet...drinking is a family sport.
I told him and looked everyone in the eye - no hyperbole, no drama, no shame - just a simple statement of fact. I am an alcoholic and my life is immeasurably better now.
I had people congratulate me - later in private LOL...but still, small steps...
One thing I learned from my Xmas is I'm absolutely doing the right thing - I'm comfortable with who I am, and I'm at peace with my life.
I didn't need to feed the drama or raise my voice or get involved in the fights.
There's a lot more benefits to recovery than just staying sober...
It wasn't all bad - I still love my family - but man - it's good to be home
D