Snack4, what is your definition of being a very independent woman?
I consider myself a very independent person. I have held several important positions in my life. As a matter of fact, I was a federal government contracting officer with authorization from the Senate to sign for multi-dollar contracts on behalf of the government.
Yet, I am a codependent! Codependency is a tendency to behave in overly passive or excessively caretaking ways that negatively impact one's relationships and quality of life. It, also, involves putting one's needs at a lower priority than others while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. By reading your post, you appear to be a codependent. Frankly, if you're
NOT one, I don't know what you are!
You wrote
"I have said I love this man and am willing to give him the time he needs to sort his emotions out. Maybe I am a bit crazy for willing to do this, but some people, regardless if they are recovering or not, are simply worth the wait...I happen to think he is." "I just want to be supportive of him (of course to a point as I am not going to set myself up to be hurt again) and I want him to know that I will be here for him no matter what." He has broken up with
YOU to follow his
"HEART". WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?! 
"The way I see it, there are two kinds of dreams. One is a dream that's always going to be just that..... A dream. A vision that you can never really hold in your hand. Then there's a dream that's more than a dream its like.... A map. A map that you live by and follow for the rest of your days Knowing that someday your going to stand on top of that Mountain holding everything you thought of Right There In Your Hand!"--Robert Cooper
I suggest attending as many Al-Anon meetings as you can attend, and keep using SR for support.
Just my opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix