What a great bunch of people on this site. Thank you so much, already I am feeling calmer and more in control.
I have re-read your posts several times, it's such a comfort that you all understand what it feels like. I have felt quite "alone" being the only non-drinker in my large extended family.
Only 3 members of my family know about my alcoholism and they are being a great support, but they don't really "get it". They think that once I say no thanks to a drink that is the end of it, they don't realise that I am still craving it hours later. (Although thank god they don't "get it", I wouldn't wish this on anyone.) And of course am not foolish enough to think i am just craving for a drink....it's the full bottle I'm after!
Feeling a bit better you guys, am really glad I reached out for help from ye.