Originally Posted by
lilac0721 
I am a chronic relapser. I am on Day 2 again. I stopped counting. I have been in a pattern of renewing my desire to get sober, going strong for a few days or a week or even more and then caving to the desire to drink, even though part of me knows that I don't really want it and won't really enjoy it.
I know that I am not the only person who has gone through this. What have other people done? Should I even bother trying to stay sober? Why do I get angry when I hear my husband say he'd like a beer and know that he'll be able to have a few then not pick up a drink again for a few weeks? Why do I fear giving up the bottle once and for all? Why, when I know how good I can feel with a month or two of sobriety, would I even consider picking up?
Go in a quiet room by yourself. Ask God for help. Ask God to keep you sober and safe. Call information on your phone and ask for the AA number in your area if you don't have an AA directory or don't know where an AA meeting is.
Then get to an AA meeting in your area as soon as possible. That means going to a meeting Sunday, December 26, 2010. Protect your sobriety as you would a crying baby. It's got to come before EVERYTHING, including your husband.