Not drinking is hard sometimes, but having to start over from the beginning and go through that same crap each time is even harder. I try to remember how hard it is to start over and realize, it just isn't worth it to have to go through that.
Oh and you get angry at your husband, because you have resentments about his being able to drink and you can't. I would advise you to do everything you can to get rid of those, because I held on to my resentments which kept me drinking, which in the end caused me more misery and pain.