Well, lilac, it sounds like you processed that trigger from your husband well, congratulations.
A master with many years of sobriety in one of my groups described developing the skill of "staying ahead of his own thoughts". Understanding how certain situations would make him feel and then intentionally doing something to re-direct his thoughts if they are going in an unproductive direction.
Plus, the longer you are sober, the easier it is to just take comments and situations in stride. Things that would have made me pretty upset after 6 months or a year of sobriety seem trivial to me now at 18 months.
Plus trusting that your higher power really will work things out for the best can be a BIG help (obvious, I know). Just some things to think about.
Regarding your work: Is this a situation where you really are being held responsible for things you can't control? Or do your superiors understand that there are certain things that you reasonably can or can't do?