I agree with the PP.
I was also a chronic relapser and can can tell you when it turned around for me.
I didn't really think that sober living could be enjoyable. I really thought it was second best. For me,
Good = normal living.
Better = normal living + alcohol.
I really had not understood that I CAN NOT have a normal life when I drink. For me that second scenario (normal living + alcohol) is unattainable. It's the elusive moderation. I was not a particularly low bottom alcoholic (I am still married and still have custody of my children) but still I can't live normally and drink. I ALWAYS want 8 drinks. And I ALWAYS want to drink, every day. I can sometimes stop at 2. But it's a herculean effort. A pyrrhhic victory. I don't feel satisfied after it.
So I didn't believe then that I could subtract alcohol from my life and (mostly) not miss it and REALLY enjoy most days. I grew up with drinking/alcoholic parents and saw alcohol as the cherry on every sundae. I saw no joy in ending the day with a cup of hot chocolate and good book. That was for lame people.
And I didn't want to be a recovering alcoholic either because I didn't want to spend my nights in church basements talking about Jesus. I know now that's not true but it was another lie I told myself to enable my drinking. I know now that there are sober people everywhere living normal lives.
So anyway I didn't get and stay happily sober for any period of time (and I only have 4 months!!) until I realized that there is a way to live. Actually LIVE a happy, normal engaged life.