I came here and posted in shame the day after my black out. I liked to drink a few with my husband as well, and black outs were a very rare thing for most of my 28 years of drinking.
During a black out I ended up naked in a hot tub with three men, one of which was my husband, fooling around. I don't remember any of this, my then 22 year old daughter was the one to relate the tale the next day. The shame was so complete I couldn't imagine ever crawling out
The good news is, I have forgiven myself and have an outstanding relationship with my daughter. I used SR for the first 10 months of sobriety, and then went and fell in love with AA. I have not had the urge to drink since that day, very nearly 2 years ago.
My husband kept drinking and died in august as a direct result of being drunk.
To quit now is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and your family. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it gets worse never better.
blessings to you on this journey, I am glad you found your way here