lostfamily,
i typed a long answer, but lost it.
i will keep it simple.
what she says means nothing. absolutely nothing. actions are what matter.
go to alanon and learn to detach with love and take care of those children, right now,
cause right now, they need all of you to get through this.
please educate yourself and tell the children the truth (age appropriate).
I am in recovery from alcohol, 14+years, and had to divorce my ex when he continued his use and escalated to crack.
Please, take care of the children now, anything you say or do for your wife is either not going to be heard or dismissed altogether. The children are watching and learning from you.
Beth