my father's surgery seems to have gone ok and he has been moved to icu. he's still out of it and i am going back to the hospital in a hour. it is cionvenient that it is 2 blocks from my work.
i spoke to my cousin from jail last night, she called to wish my dad luck. she's been in 3yrs and has been in active addiction about 30. i have never heard her sound so good since i was a kid. she really seems to have hit on recovery and i hope she stays clean once she gets out next month. i heard her quacking for years, but i can hear the difference in her.
that relates to my friend. i think she wants to be clean but doesnt wantto stop getting high. she is up to her full dose of methadone, but stil using dope. rather than jump right in to the negativity, i'll give the benefit of saying that she is using less and is getting into therapy hopefully in one to two weeks. i know any use is not recovery.
i have used the board as a crutch to a degree and doing that i think has kept me from taking action. i can jsut talk about it here and not do anything. so, over the next few days i'll be spending a lot of time at the hospital and doing a few holiday things with family. instead of obsessing about my friend's addiction as an external thing, i am looking at it as something differently now. but not posting as much, i am getting more time to actually think about things and will be reacting in accordance with what i have learned.
of course the good thing is that hte surgery is said to have gone well, now i hope for a successful recovery for him.