Day 1
Well here I am again. I quit drinking 4 months ago for about 4 months and felt great. It all started with one drink and I rapidly fell right back to where I was before. The only difference is that instead of Vodka I was drinking wine. I am a heavy binge drinker and will down 4 glasses of wine in 5 mintues and then continue drinking for days. I am able to stop when I am at work but as soon as I get home, until the time I go to bed I drink. I have convinced myself that I need it to be more confident, attractive, funny, outgoing, etc. I black out often. I feel so hopeless and in despair. I know I must quit. I was convinced all day yesterday that it was the last day. Then I pick up my son at daycare and I am told it is his holiday party which I forgot about. I went home and downed 4 glasses of wine. This was the bottle that I was going to throw out but instead I couldn't let it go to waste. Then after the party came home and finished another bottle of wine that was open. It had about 3/4 left. Again this was so I could get rid of it without wasting it. My house is now alcohol free. I can't keep living like this. I need help and I need encouragement to get through this and start living a sober life.