Welcome. I have been where you are. I actually posted once "Is anyone less happy now that they are sober"... Guess what? Nobody said yes. I am 18 days sober and am so much happier its not even funny. What I've learned is all of the things you mention:
"I feel like its groundhog day all over again. i really really want to have a happy healthy life with happy healthy relationships with loved ones, friends and family. And right now, i'm just not hitting that mark."
Those things happen much easier when our behavior is not being influenced on a powerful chemical... You can do it. For me, I could not do it on my own. I do go to AA. It's not the only way, but I can honestly say without it, working the steps, and working with others, I could not have stayed sober this long.
Best of luck!!!