SoberClean, what you are suggesting sounds like you are starting to
"Let Go" of your mother.
I have been married 40 years now to my DDH and I guess through those years I did learn how to detach from him. I became a very independent person. If I wanted something done, I would do it myself. I kept busy and went about my own life doing what I needed to do.
I learned not to rely upon my DDH for anything. Then last December my world was sent upside down by suffering a massive stroke. I no longer could be that independent person that I was. I needed assistance for almost everything at first. Slowly I'm learning how to regain my independence again. I still need to get a valid driver's license. My driver's license was suspended for medical reasons. I'm re-starting physical therapy this week, and hopefully learn how to live by myself. I suffer from mobility problems and have problems with my short-term memory recall. However, my DDH didn't step up to take on some of the responsibilities that I had previously carried all by myself, which I could no longer do. So I need to
"Let Go" of him!
"Letting Go"* To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.
* To
"let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another.
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"let go" is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
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"let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
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"let go" is not to try to change or blame another; it's to make the most of myself.
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"let go" is not to care for, but to care about.
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"let go" is not to fix, but to be supportive.
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"let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
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"let go" is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.
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"let go" is not to be protective; it's to permit another to face reality.
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"let go" is not to deny, but to accept.
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"let go" is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
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"let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
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"let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
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"let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
* To
"let go" is to fear less and love myself more.
Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix