WIWorrier
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with the heartbreak of being the mother of an addicted adult son. Unfortunately, I am intimately familiar with everything you are feeling.
You and your family and your son will be in my prayers. Have you considered going to Naranon meetings? And perhaps taking your dear husband with you? Between my meetings and SR, I am able to keep myself centered while the chaos of addiction goes on around me.
gentle hugs