I've been divorced 4+ years now. My axw is on her 2nd or 3rd live-in boyfriend, the first of which was within 2 months of the end of our 13 yr marriage. She actually began "dating" during the last few months before the end (not the live in guy.....busy, busy!). Nice. Turns out she'd been "dating" most of our relationship.
Alcoholics need enablers, I quit enabling, so she simply found a "new" one, then another and another, when each previous one was fed up. The cheating during the marriage did bother me, I felt stupid (even though I wasn't the one cheating) but once she wasn't my problem any more.....whatever, knock yourself out. Thanks for that HP.
I know it hurts like hell at first, but eventually I came to see that it wasn't really anything personal, as trite and ridiculous as that sounds right now. It's pretty standard operating procedure, as far as what alcoholics do.
I consider myself very lucky to be out of that deal, and even feel kind of sorry for this new guy. Better him than me.
I'm still single and have no intention of dating till I finish the 12 steps, and till my 9yo daughter is old enough to "be embarrassed" by me. I've decided that since her mom abandoned her for a bottle of wine years ago, she doesn't need her "other" parent abandoning her as well. You see I have a tendency to "lose myself" in women, not going to risk that again till I get healthier.
Letting an active alcoholic "go" was the right thing for me to do, especially with a minor child in the mix. Her mom wasn't/isn't setting a very good example, and due to my own craziness, neither was I. I think we're better now.
Al-Anon helped me a lot, also a counselor for LMC (Little Miss Coyote). Of course SR too.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote