Is your life better than when it was when you were drinking?
If it is then maybe it's time to look into ways to make your life more enjoyable. Are you doing things every day that bring you joy? For me sometimes it's as simple as that.
Not drinking gives me options (energy, freedom). My happiness comes when I use those new gifts in productive ways, you know?
re: relapsing. I think people relapse all the time. What % of people who lose weight keep it off? 10% or something? I think it's easy for anyone to fall back on their drug of choice. I'm not convinced there's any magic in recovery. Just choices.