hi redbaron-
well, i've been around these boards for a few years now and i can't recall EVER hearing that the alcoholic got the kids. i'm not saying it doesn't happen, but the courts aren't stupid and will do what is best to protect the children.
i know it's scary but consider taking some steps to get some legal provision decreeing that you are the parent who has custody of the children.
i would render a guess that if you hold firm, her tactic will change from anger to how she loves you so much. this too is a ploy. don't fall for it. it's just more manipulation.
detach, detach, detach.
i would also render a guess that if she white knuckles it through her treatment, that it won't be long until she is drinking again. she is not embracing recovery, she feels forced against a wall right now. not a good sign, my friend.
mark my words. if she doesn't have a change of heart, she'll go back to drinking in hiding when she gets out. that's what alcoholics do.
you would be wise to move forward with your attorney, in my opinion. no harm done. if she does embrace recovery, well, you will be able to feel that and will be able to hand over more responsibility to her. but it will be your call if she doesn't.
stay strong! it'll get better, one way or the other. just keep those kids close and safe!
naive x