RedBaron...I know how it feels to want to avoid doning the Bad Guy Cape. I've tried doing it a number of times and to be honest, I always end up getting screwed over by my "generosity". Yes, you want to put all the chances of recovery on your wife's side, HOWEVER, you have the added burden of protecting your children, seeing as you are at the moment the responsible parent.
Your wife is in rehab, and whether or not she chooses to commit to her recovery fully is her choice. She may very well blame you for x,y,z, but if she is committed to recovering, what you do or say won't matter.
If you choose to hold off and the tables get turned on you, especially in the event that your AW gets sober solely for the purpose of revenge, there's a good chance she'll relapse *while having custody of your children*. Who will protect them then?
I know it feels cruel to pull the rug out from under her when she is down, but your last post indicates that she's backpeddling like there's no tomorrow and simply going through the motions in rehab.
Protect your children. Get the temporary order and hammer out a custody agreement whereby she is granted supervised visitation. This can be revised in a year when she's proven that she's been in recovery for that period of time. Include provisions that visitation will be revoked if any signs of relapse are found. Later on, if and when she's solid in her recovery, all this can be changed.
I know you don't want to be the evil guy in your wife's eyes. I can feel the dismay in your post. Refocus just for a second here: Who's going to protect your children?