That feeling did contribute to my drinking. I'm still in college, and I felt the need to live up to my reputation. It wasn't really a good reputation and many people hated me for the things I had done while drunk, but I saw my drinking career as something to be proud of. I couldn't be boring. I would be letting everyone down. I'm newly sober, and while I've gotten positive feedback on my sobriety for the most part, a few drinking buddies resent me for it.