I can give you my definition...a bottm is where is hurts more to continue the behavior than to stop, a moment of clarity where you see you no longer want the lifestyle you are leading and will do ANYTHING to get better..you SURRENDER and admit that you are not in control and that perhaps others may be able to show you another way...notice how this would apply to the addict as well as the enabler/codie?
My bottom came when I realized that drugs were the problem my daughter had, not a mental health issue, or anger, etc..and that everything I had done had failed..I went to Alanon (very unlike me..not a joiner, don't like rules..know everything!) and LISTENED i did exactly what they told me to do.
My daughters bottom came when she looked at a bag of heroin, thought 'i should do it all and just die" and decided instead that she wanted to live.She willingly went to rehab..they told her to go to sober living after..she did.They tell her what to do there as well and she does it because she wants to be sober. For me..the key to a bottom is the SURRENDER of all the old thinking..I can stop myself, I don't need help, those people don't know what theyare talking about etc..