Hi Roisin,
I have been married to my AH for 22 years. This time last year, when my life had gotten so out of control with regards to his drinking, someone suggested I tried Al-anon. It had never even occured to me up until that point, that the problems at home I was dealing with were because I was dealing with an alcoholic.
My alcoholic is highly functioning with good strong work ethics and for the majority of the time we live a happy life in a loving relationship.
Mine too, has generally drank around the same amount of beer for a long time (every day) and like yours sometimes drinks a bit more, but then settles back down. I think currently, because we are getting along quite well, that he is trying to stick to drinking a crate (24) a week, although he is not quite managing this. I think also, that because I am in recovery and learning not to react to some of his behaviours that there is peace in the house, he hasnt been so bad to deal with anyway. Usually he 'flares' up or acts unreasonable if we have been in the throws of an argument about his drinking or not speaking, particulary when I was out of control about it.
Over the past year, whilst learning about alcoholism, attending Al-anon and reading books and SR threads I have questioned many times whether my Alcoholic is really an alcoholic as he isnt as unreasonable, out of control, abusive etc as some husbands that I hear about.
But, I relate to much of what is said at Al-anon and SR. I have had to listen to verbal abuse from my AH when he has been drinking or when I discussed how his drinking made me feel and he has acted irrational, unreasonable. Yes, my AH can stop occasionaly if he wants to, doesnt think hes an alcoholic and just says that he 'likes a beer'. I know in my gut that my AH is an alcoholic as the bottom line for me came about during a particular bad period when he chose beer over a 22 year marriage and continued to drink even though he knew it was upsetting me so much.
Now after all my rambling and to answer your question - Does it always esculate? I think it does, although sometimes it would seem as though it is at a very slow pace.
Incidently, My AH father died this year at the age of 65. He had been an alcoholic all his life and worked really hard, never taking time off work, right up until his death of a stroke. Because he had been divorced for almost 30 yrs and lived on his own for the past 6 years, he didnt look after himself too well and his flat was a mess with empty whisky bottles everywhere and heart medication bottles around that he failed to take. His alcohol intake had quite clearly escalated, particulary towards the end.
I beleive that this would be my husband if he too was living on his own but somehow, having someone in his life, keeps him trying to control his drinking and limiting the amount he drinks.
My AH gave up smoking too about 2 years ago and this at least is one positive thing they can do. Just the drinking now to go! But I am not going to hold my breath about that one.