Anna you are right. The trigger was the resentment of him telling me I am drinking too fast, too much. So when he was away I would get 2 bottles andd drink as much and as fast as I wanted. I read back from some of your earlier posts from years ago. The only anxiety I have now (which would make me drink) is I have a nephew like you mentioned oabout yours. He is 17 now and very abusive to my parents his grandparents, who he lives with. Because his mother ihas been on drugs since she was 16 she is now 47 and just got out of prison. I am afraid he will hurt them. He tried suicide last month. I have a friend calling my parents now to see how they are because I have to get up early and I am prone to anxiety attacks. So learning not to drowned myself in wine. I have to learn how to deal with this family stuff (which that is just the tip of the iceburg) sober. Little by little