I watched my XAH drink himself into being a bedridden wreck in a nursing home, before finally finding peace last year.....in death.
I have been with BF while going from binge to binge, suffering the hell of withdrawal so many, many times, believing the promises of "never again, no more etc", the pain of having those promises continually broken, until I could take no more.
I cannot give you a perfect reason why HE COULD NOT JUST STOP, anymore than I can give a reason why I COULD NOT JUST DUMP HIM, over those 18 years of hell.
I finally gave him up, and he gave the drinking up shortly after....this time he said nothing, no promises to break.....just got help for himself and did it.
Maybe it was just the right time for us both. I don't know.
I do know that, if the drink comes around again.....I am finished and he can do as he wants, because I will not be watching, waiting or suffering anymore.