There is obviously some psychological need for me to continue these behaviors that overpowers my rational knowledge that these behaviors do me harm.
Word.
I know that I had coping behaviors while married to RAXH that I no longer need, now that I'm out of that context. I don't know how many As start out by "self-medicating" with alcohol to deal with deep-seated issues. I know my RAXH is even more difficult to deal with now that he's sober, because all he's done is remove the alcohol from the equation. He still hasn't dealt with the reason he started drinking in the first place.