Why did my A have to choose alcohol over me?
I've been really depressed lately.
I've read a thousand books. Read through lots of great posts and information here.
But the last few days, I've been thinking, "Why did my ex have to choose alcohol over me?" I know it's not about me. His ex-wife left him because of the drinking. Then I came along and he blamed all his drama and problems on me. He didn't want to stop drinking so then I left. If he was willing to let his wife of 15 years to leave, sure he was going to let me leave too.
But it still stings. It hurts.
I have drinking problems of my own and I knew it was contributing to our problems. I'm in counseling now. And I was willing to go the distance. AA, counseling, whatever it would take. But he didn't. I am sad. And the weird part, our relationship was so dead and crappy at the end, I can't imagine being with him anyway - so why do I care?
And after staring into space at dinner, yelling and picking fights all the time, making me the last thing that mattered, etc he sent sappy messages telling me he loves me. Then why wouldn't he get help?
Thanks for listening. I've been depressed lately.