highfunction, just wanted to post my story because I was 26 when I met my now AH who was 36 at the time and like you there were many positives. Unlike you I didn't notice the drinking until looking back later on. He encouraged me and made me feel understood like no one else could. He helped me to get through school and get a good job while he "worked hard" pursuing his dream.
Now 20 + years later and 3 children I could tell you what my life looked like by cutting and pasting pieces of nodaybut2day, 4mylittleones, Thumper, lillamy, MichelleAL, and Eightball's posts.
My heart goes out to you for feeling what you may be feeling at this point in your life and your relationship that brought you to this site because as many have said the disease is progressive.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and despite so much heartache and being separated for a year and in counseling for myself and finally getting a feel of being my own person again I am still trying to be with my AH husband.
I haven't quite let go of the dream marriage even after all these years of not living it.
As others have said learn about the disease, go to Al-Anon, maybe even work some steps and you may find some peace for yourself that no one else can ever provide for you no matter how much you love them or they love you.