Nothing will tear your heart out like a man who you know loves you but can't make the emotional connection because he isn't there.
Nothing will be sadder than looking in his eyes and watching the shame.
If you want to get a hardened heart, marry this man. Have his children. Do make plans ahead of time for every evening watching those little ones as well as all day long. Because a high-functioning alcoholic has to drink whenever they aren't at work. Watching toddlers is tough to do when passed out.