New to this
Hey everyone. It is hard for me to even admit that I have an addiction but I know I do and I'm ready to stop it. For the past year I have been taking a lot of pain killers. It all started for a good reason, I actually did need them. I get very bad ear aches and around the same time I had to get work done on my tooth. I started taking them because they were prescribed to me. At first, I did not even want to take too many because my father suffered with addiction to painkillers for a very long time until one day his addiction became fatal and he is now paralyzed because of it. I never thought this would happen to me, but because I was in pain so often and I took them often, I became addicted. Another family member gets painkillers every month and she tells me I can take them whenever I need them. At first I would just take them when I was in pain, which would be like maybe two a day at the most. Now I take like 4 to 5 a day and it is not always because I'm in pain but because I just like the feeling. The problem is I am still in pain because I am getting dental work done every week, but every time I take them for my actual pain, I get out of hand and take them when I'm not actually in pain. I've decided enough is enough. Nobody in my family has actually said anything to me about the fact that a lot of the pain pills go missing, it seems to go unsaid. The family member who gets the pills every month is very caring and she hates to see anyone in pain, so she gives me them whenever I ask, sometimes I think she knows I'm not in pain but she has been use to it with other family members so I think she just doesn't want to say anything. The problem is, I'm not trying to blame her, but I need her to tell me no. Now, I'm at the point where I will take them when I'm not in pain and then when I am actually in pain I have nothing to help. I have decided now as I sit here at 4 am that it is enough. I need to stop. Even though I know there are some sitting in the other room that I could take and I want to take, I am not going to because I don't want to be dependent. I want to live without thinking about them or that I need them. So, I know it is going to be hard to deal with this but I want to and I have to do it for myself and my family. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for me to help me deal with this everyday, since this is new for me. Also, I still have dental work to go and I am given pain medication for the work my dentist does. Are there any tips for taking the medication while in pain, but not over-doing it? I could really use the advice. Thank you.