Yes, I left him 3 1/2 years ago. The reliable, dependable person I had met didn't know how to deal with stress except with alcohol. It got to the point that if I left him and my then pre-teen alone he would phone me non-stop...he couldn't deal with real life except to drink. There is more to it of course, but the bottom line is that I felt like I had two teenagers and a toddler in my house instead of two children and a partner.
I thought things had gotten better after we separated. He went through an addictions program and they "told" him he was okay. I now realize that isn't what happened, but that's what he told me.
In February of this year he emailed me at work to say he needed help. Turned out he was drunk on a Monday morning and couldn't handle it any more. I helped him, even though I'm his ex wife. He got some help, joined AA, got his 30 day chip and decided he could handle having a few drinks again. He didn't tell me this, and when I allowed him to take my children overnight (because he got help and was so dependable silly me thought he was fine) he was falling over drunk at 9am on a Sunday morning about to get in a car with my children. I'm not dumb enough to think that was the first time either...since then (late March) he has not had my children alone. He has fallen off the "wagon" several times since...with the last time having suicidal thoughts. Reached out for help after missing work for a week and drinking non stop. This man NEVER used to miss work. Has been at the same job for 20+ years. I'm hoping he's recovering. He's honestly working the steps trying to get better....but I now know that can change AT ANY TIME.
For me to wish I'd done something different would mean I wouldn't have my son. I would NEVER wish I didn't have him - he is amazing and I love him. I do wish he didn't have to deal with this for the rest of his life. My XAH's father was an abusive alcoholic. My XAH is an alcoholic. My job is now to keep my boys safe (I chose to have a child with him and he put them in danger) and try to end the cycle. I wish the situation was different...I wish my son's father wasn't an alcoholic, but at this point I can't wish I didn't have him. Tough question to answer, but I hope I managed?