Hi Solo and Welcome to SR.
I wanted to chime in to tell you that Al-Anon continues to help me though I am no longer married to my alcoholic. I have no laid eyes on him since May, and I plan on keeping it that way. However, I realize that codependency lead me to engage in destructive relationships for most of my adult life, and I feel the need to address that. So I continue to go to Al-Anon, to post and read here on SR, and I go to individual counselling as well.
For me, finding Al-Anon was like finding the key to myself. I felt like I had within me an unresolved dilemma that was affecting every aspect of my life: how I perceived myself, how I related to others, how I saw my "future".
I continue to learn how to listen to myself and how to care for myself before I sacrifice for someone else. What's more, I have a young child now, so I'm forced to consider how my actions will affect her. I'm constantly thinking about the type of behaviour I'm modelling for my daughter, and I think it's helped me realize that she needs to see a strong, fulfilled mother, who has self-respect and the ability to say "no" when the need arises. I hope she is able to avoid the traps I fell into over and over in my adulthood. Then again, what happens isn't in my hands. I've also learned to give it up to my Higher Power and accept that what's meant to happen will happen for a reason, even if it's not clear right away. I strive everyday to learn from my experience and those of others.
I hope you keep coming back here and posting/reading as much as you need.