Thank you for sharing more of your story, Solo.
I am a fixer/rescue-er. I have a strong urge to swoop in and attempt to "save the day". I am able to expend all my energy trying to rescue others from heartache and negative outcomes while putting my personal needs aside. I thought that was one of my best qualities!
Then I read a book.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie.
I have read and re-read that book many times over the past years.
I am codependent.
I allow other's behaviors to affect me and I sacrifice my needs in an effort to control other peoples behaviors.
I wish it were easy to put my "rescue cape" in the closet and leave it there, but I continue to try it on hoping that this time will be different.
Alanon meetings, SR, and self-improvement books have been helpful in putting me back in control of my own life. I have also had the good counsel of a trusted friend who works in counseling.
Let us know how we can assist you in your recovery!