Originally Posted by
NeverLetGo23 
I don't like the concepts of being completely helpless that some of these programs seem to preach.
Hello,
NeverLetGo, and welcome to SoberRecovery!
You have most definitely gotten your feet wet here.
As you have experienced, there can be a lot of really good exchange of opinion, based on our collective experience.
We aim to be respectful of others' viewpoints.
A lot of stuff here in this thread...I'd just like to comment on the above quoted statement.
I think you may be misunderstanding the concept of helplessness. The place we need to start, in a 12-step program, is the notion of
powerlessness.
Which is different from
helplessness.
Our help comes from our faith in a higher power, and our belief that that guidance will help to straighten us out. It lasts a lifetime.
The powerlessness is about - for an addict - the idea that he cannot have adequate control over his drinking/drug use. He has to give that idea up.
For us - those who love an addicted person - is is that we do not have power (or control) over that person. We have spent many hours, days, years even, believing that we do, but come to understand that it was an illusion.
Keep coming back here, as I see you have. I wish you and your friend all the best.