soloquest2

I'm new here... please advise me if I'm in the wrong place.
I have been dating a Recovering Alcoholic for 2.5 years. During that time I found she had a severe inability to face confrontation of any kind. Rather than deal with a problem she would deny, deflect, lie over and over... but not deal with the issue. She'd had an affair with her married boss, which despite "breaking it off" when we met, she insisted on flirting, teasing and leading him on at work.
I caught this behavior several times during our relationship but never caught her in a physical act. It destroyed my trust in her. I'd confront her, she'd apologize, make excuses, lie, and promise it wouldn't happen again. I'd give her another chance but my trust was repetedly betrayed.(I began spying on her email etc to get the truth.)
Over the last several months I struggled to understand her behavior, give he another chance, etc. But I was moody, angry, cold... she'd lied too often.
She too became distant and I got the feeling she was just giving up.
She has "cut and run" (as her AA sponsor called it) and refuses to talk with me. I'm sure she has left... again, she doesn't want to confront this. Apparently this is how she always ends a relationship... running away and refusing to talk.
I've read alot online about Addictive Personalities... it seems like she was replacing her alcohol addiction with needing attention from men (I saw this on several levels with old boyfriends.)
Has anyone dealt with anything like this? I need advice... if nothing more than to help me move on. But I do still love her and I'm looking for answers.