Someone here mentioned a book called Women Who Love Too Much. I am currently reading it and it has been a huge eye-opener for me. Funny thing is when I first started reading it, I kept thinking, "this is not me". But I kept reading, and now have found so much insight in this book that I have to actually think that it might very well be me. If you really want to figure out how your past might be influencing your choices now and in the past, I'd recommend this one!
Good luck in finding yourself again! I am trying the same...although still with my addict, but working on getting away. First court date is on Monday. AHHHH.