It doesn't have to be this way Paulos. Everyone has some worth. And the things you aren't happy about can be changed. Getting off substances, getting into a healthy eating habit, exercise, possibly finding something fulfilling that brings in some finances that give you independence. Take steps to get to a better place. I am working on the healthy lifestyle for myself. I've got to lose weight, I've got to stop smoking. My future will be brighter if I start doing these things. At the least I'll feel physically better, and any rise in self esteem is good because a little bit of feeling good leads to actions that help that increase self esteem. It rises as it increases. It's in your power to do this.