I think a major part of recovery is learning to forgive ourselves too Joiner.
We are not what we did. We're more than that - we're better than that.
You're not scum. You have an addiction, but you're working hard to change your life - that's the important bit.
We all did stuff we regret...but we have to move on from it and focus on the now...if we hang on to the past it can consume us and the shame and disgust can pull us back to our old ways.
Don't let anything stop our progress. There'll be time enough for amends and atonements - focus on getting sober and staying that way for now
D