He loves me
Through everything I have done while I was drinking he still loves me. I don't deserve it!!! I want to tell him every day until I die that I'm sorry and I love him. I did the unthinkable. I kissed my neighbor. I don't like him. I'm not attracted to him. He's a drunk like me. I have been mad at my husband for years for his dishonesty and situations that didn't look right to me. And look what I did. I'm scum. I feel horrible. I never would have been around him if I wasn't drinking. I'm glad he knows. I told him. My husband and I talked. He helped me to see and accept what I already knew. That everything bad that has happened to me has had to do with my drinking. All I have ever wanted was to know that he loves me. Now I don't feel like I deserve it. I have never done anything like this before. I don't ever want to hurt this man again. How can he just forgive me? I have carried around anger towards him for years. Now this...I have everything I could ever want. So why do I keep making mistakes and drinking? I AM SO SORRY. This is not me. This is not the person I want to be. I don't think I will ever feel worthy of his love. I am tired of being depressed and feeling like a failure. I don't want to be sad anymore. There has to be another way to feel good other than drinking!!!