I definitely feel like my therapist helps, a lot.. Just like you said, in a different manor. I think it's a really good idea to journal. I will see if he likes that idea.. well, I'd almost rather 'email' him.. because discussing in person will be too embarrassing for me. He's a highly skilled, high costing psychologist.. and he cut me a KILLER deal with no insurance because he said he could see I truly wanted help. He's become a godsend to me, and now I don't feel worthy of his time. It's just weird.. and damn it's hard talking outloud.
One of the most depressing things to me.. is I have to educate myself on how to handle myself. I want to educate myself on other things, but I feel like I don't have the time. It seems like in ALL my spare time I need to learn about WHO I am, Why I am this way, and HOW I can change... It consumes me entirely.. and it kind of sucks. I used to read for pleasure.. now, I only read for the sole purpose of learning about me.