"It's the thoughts that get me. The behaviors caused by intense emotions. Behaviors such as crying, screaming, begging, panic attacks and sobbing like a baby waiting to be held. That is where I feel so low. I just break down and I become a little girl. My thoughts are SO distorted. I am trying to challenge and change this, and I'm failing there.
Does that make sense too?"
Yes. Makes total sense to me. Sounds like me years ago. Ask yourself, WHEN and WITH WHOM do I get like this? What exact situations cause me to be like this?