Originally Posted by
hello-kitty 
It's tough to walk around holding in resentments about childhood. It's bound to make us sick. It sure made me sick. I turned to drugs and alcohol. As a teenager it was fun, games and rebellion against my parents. But as an adult - yowza! I became a crack addict.
Lesson learned: The coping methods I used in childhood (like partying to blow off steam) did not work when I became an adult.
At some point I had to accept that no matter how horrible my parents were and no matter how ineffective they were as my parents, I was responsible for the bad choices I was making in my life. That's when I grew up. I figured out I couldn't blame my parents anymore for my screwed up life of my own making. Unfortunately some people never get that... Hopefully your therapy will help with that.
And please be careful with the eating disorder! Not to be an insensitive beyatch, but that's gonna take you down so fast sweetie pie. Like crack did me.
You know.. I don't feel like I make really bad choices. I do from time to time, but in general I am a pretty responsible person. I bought and paid off my first car, brand new at 18. I pay all my bills, never missed a payment. I go to work everyday and do not call out sick. I stick with school and attend all classes. I never skip therapy sessions, etc. I don't do drugs.. and I try to monitor my drinking. I think all-in-all, I'm doing alright.
It's the thoughts that get me. The behaviors caused by intense emotions. Behaviors such as crying, screaming, begging, panic attacks and sobbing like a baby waiting to be held. That is where I feel so low. I just break down and I become a little girl. My thoughts are SO distorted. I am trying to challenge and change this, and I'm failing there.
Does that make sense too?